Jessa
by BigTimeHiddlestoner
Summary: Jessa and Logan, soon to be married couple, face the hardships of life.


**I'm back! Here's a one-shot I wrote over the summer. This is the very first story I decided to write. Enjoy :) Beware, there are mentions of sex**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. **

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><p>Jessa woke to the harsh noise of her alarm clock. The bed beside her was empty. Her fiancé, Logan, must already be up. Although she hated getting up at 4 am, her job was worth it. She was a veterinarian. There was nothing she liked better than going in and knowing that she was going to help some poor innocent creature to get better.<p>

When Jessa was out of the shower, she realized that today was her 22nd birthday. She wondered if she and Logan would do anything special. Jessa walked over to her closet and picked out her outfit. She then walked downstairs to be joined by her two dogs. Their tails wagged. Seeing her dogs happy brought a smile to Jessa's face. "Hello Abbie. Hello Bandit." She said, patting their heads. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pouch of poptarts. Logan was sitting at the table.

"Hey, Honey." Logan said, looking up from the morning newspaper. "Are you ready for work?" Logan asked, a smile on his face.

"I'm always ready for work!" Jessa replied.

"Let's go."

On her way to work, she thought about the appointments that were scheduled for today. So far, there was a routine vaccination, a checkup, and a neutering. It should be an easy day, if no unforeseen problems arose. As she and Logan walked in the door of the clinic, a welcome sign greeted her eyes. Shadow, the resident black lab was sitting in the middle of the floor waiting for her to show up. He jumped up and licked her face. "Get down Shadow!" Jessa said, giggling. She wiped the slobber off of her face and went to turn the lights on around the clinic. Logan started to get all of the operating tables clean.

At 5:30, thirty minutes before the clinic opened, Jessa's receptionist Kate walked in. "Hey Jessa, Logan, how are you today?" she asked with genuine concern.

"I'm fine, how are you?" Jessa and Logan answered together.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"That's good." Jessa said, trying to get into her lab jacket. "I just got the invitation to your wedding. You must be so excited." said Kate doing the same.

"I am. I can't wait." Jessa replied.

"Where's your honeymoon going to be?"

"We're going to Italy. We think it will be really romantic." Logan chipped in, getting into his lab coat as well. Just then the clock struck 5:45 and Jessa realized that she still needed to prepare the operation room for the neutering later. She jumped up and did so.

By the time she was done preparing the room, the patients were starting to come in. "I'm ready to receive Sandstorm for her vaccination." Jessa called out into the waiting room. A lady with a bright orange tabby stood up. "Please come this way." The lady did so. Jessa waited until the lady and her pet were through the door, then closed it behind them. Just as the door was almost closed, she heard Logan call out:

"Mrs. O'Brien, if Rabbit is ready for his checkup, please come this way." Jessa had to smile. Who named their dog Rabbit? She could tell that Logan had been trying to hold back a laugh as he called the Doberman's name.

Sandstorm was waiting on the table when Jessa turned around. She gave him a once over, then started a more in depth examination. There was nothing wrong with the cat, other than the fact that it was slightly obese. Jessa gave Sandstorm all of the vaccinations that were needed. She then finished filling out the tabby's record sheet and sent the owner and the cat out to see Kate and to schedule their next appointment. Jessa stopped to see Kate to find out the date of their appointment so she could mark the date in her agenda. "I'll mark their appointment for you. Right now there is a little dog by the name of Toby who is in desperate need of your help."

Jessa's heart sank. She knew Toby. He was a little thirteen year old apricot poodle. The last time he had been in the clinic, he had been diagnosed with kidney failure. That had been about a year ago. Jessa knew that this was probably the end for Toby. She caught Logan coming out of the other examination room. "Logan, we need to go." Logan immediately saw that Jessa was close to tears, so he pulled her to the side and asked her what was wrong. She told him. He pulled her close in a hug.

"I know it's hard, but if it's whats right, then it has to be done." he said gently.

"I know, it's just hard for me to take a life like that, even if it is what's right." she sniffled.

"I know. We should probably go. I don't want to cause the poor animal any more unnecessary pain. Logan sighed.

"Let's go."

The ride over to Toby's house was a depressing one. When they finally reached their destination, Mrs. Flint was waiting for them. "I think it's his time." she told them sadly.

"We'll need to see him before we decide anything, but you're probably right." Logan replied, seeing that Jessa probably couldn't talk without bursting into tears. Mrs. Flint lead the way into the kitchen, where Toby was laying in his basket in front of the heater. He looked so old and frail that both Jessa and Logan decided that euthanasia was the best route. They told Mrs. Flint, and stepped out to give her a chance to say her final goodbyes.

When she was done, she came out and told them that it was time. Jessa went out to the car to get the supplies needed. When she came back, Toby was resting comfortably in his basket. Jessa asked if everyone was ready. They all were, so she injected the solution into Toby's thin front leg. Mrs. Flint stooped down and stroked Toby's ears as the solution took effect. Slowly Toby's head drooped, and he was gone. Mrs. Flint started to sob, and a few tears leaked out of both Logan's and Jessa's eyes. Mrs. Flint thanked them, and they all said goodbye. "Let's take the rest of the day off, okay?" Logan said to Jessa.

"We could use the break." Jessa agreed, and they drove home.

When Jessa had gotten her feelings under control, she decided to go visit her friend Jenna Mullen, soon to be Jenna Maslow. When she got there, she soon discovered a huge surprise. Her best friend was pregnant, and pretty far along at that. "When were you going to tell me that you were pregnant?" Jessa asked her friend.

"I was going to tell you at the wedding."

"You're going to get married in your condition?" Jessa asked incredulously.

"Of course. Why not?" Jenna asked.

"It just doesn't seem right."

"I know. What's done is done. There isn't any going back." she sighed. After that, they talked for a little while, then Jessa returned home. She found Logan waiting for her.

He asked how it went, and she told him. "How would you like to have kids someday?" Logan asked Jessa, stroking her tenderly.

"I would love to!" she replied. "We can not use anything contraceptive and see what happens. We may or may not have kids right away. I think we should leave it up to nature. I'm fine with either way as long as I have you." Logan said.

"When should we start trying?" Jessa asked, a little fear in her eyes.

"What about right now?" Logan asked, pulling her close.

"But we aren't married yet!" Jessa protested.

"We will be in a day. Why wait?" Logan replied, capturing her lips with his own. Jessa was powerless to resist, and Logan lead her into an intense night of pleasure.

The day of the wedding dawned bright and clear. Jessa was beautifully clad in the traditional white gown that hugged her beautiful body. "You look so beautiful." Logan told her, kissing her lovingly. He was dressed in the classic tuxedo, and he looked incredibly handsome. Too quickly, the time came for Jessa to walk down the aisle. She walked slowly, taking care not to trip. When she finally reached Logan, everything else faded away. All she noticed was the exchange of rings and the binding kiss. Then Logan swept her off of her feet and carried her to the car amid a shower of rice.

The honeymoon passed in a whirlwind of love and sex. Their love continued to grow, as did Jessa's belly, although she didn't notice it yet. When they got back from their two week honeymoon, everything appeared normal. Then, a couple of weeks later, Jessa noticed that a monthly activity had ceased to occur. She started to wonder, so she went to the store and bought an in home pregnancy test. It came back positive.

When Logan got home that day from work (she took the day off), she greeted him at the door as if nothing unusual had happened. Jessa had decided that she didn't want to tell him until she was sure. Logan had had a tough day at work, so he didn't want to do much. After a hot shower though, he felt well enough to engage in their favorite nocturnal activity. Jessa knew that this would end as soon as he found out she was pregnant, and she wasn't ready for that yet.

Three months passed quickly, and Jessa realized that she was starting to show her pregnancy. At first she didn't realize it, but soon she realized that her lab coat was getting harder and harder to button. Logan was starting to notice as well, but she still kept her pregnancy a secret. Finally, she decided to tell him. They had a romantic night together, then retired to the bedroom for a little bit of pleasure. When they were cuddling after their activities, Jessa decided that now was a good time to tell Logan her secret.

"Logan, I have something to tell you." Jessa murmured against his chest.

"What is it Babe?"

"Well, I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God!" Logan yelled. "How far along are you?" Logan asked.

"About four months, give or take a week or so." Jessa replied, a strange quivery feeling hitting her.

"Baby, I love you so much!" Logan said, hugging Jessa close, but being careful of her belly.

"And I love you." Jessa replied back with a yawn. They both fell asleep in each others arms.

When Jessa woke up the next morning, it felt as if she had eaten live toads. Her stomach was incredibly queasy. She knew she had to eat, but all she could keep down was some dry toast. When Logan came down, Jessa was ready to go to work, but just barely. She still felt as if she was going to puke, but she was managing to keep control of herself. Logan was driving, but that didn't cause him to miss Jessa's pained expression the whole drive to the clinic. "Are you sure you want to go to work today?" Logan asked, a concerned look on his face.

"I'll make it." she replied, gritting her teeth.

When they finally got to work, Jessa was a mess. Her face had taken on a greenish tinge and her face was slick with sweat. Logan was worried, but he decided that if she wanted to stay, she could stay. As she walked through the doors, Kate rushed up to her. "Sweetheart, are you okay? You look really sick. You shouldn't even be here."

"I know." Jessa replied. "I had to come. I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"I'm pregnant." Kate sank down to the floor in shock.

"I can't believe that you're pregnant. I noticed you had put on some weight, but I never though that you were pregnant. I'm so happy for you!" Kate gushed.

"Me too." Jessa replied. Suddenly, she bent over and ran to the bathroom.

When Jessa came back, she was really pale. Logan rushed to her side. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Like crap." she admitted.

"Come on, let's go home." Logan said, gently dragging Jessa to the car. By the time they got home, Jessa was sound asleep. Logan picked her up and carried her to their room. She continued to sleep on, even when Logan called her name. He decided to let her sleep for as long as she wanted, doubtless because she need the rest. He went to sleep as well, curled up next to her.

It was about six months into Jessa's pregnancy when they first felt the baby move. It was just a little tiny kick, but it was a huge moment for Jessa and Logan. By now, Jessa was huge, and Logan was starting to wonder if there was more than one baby in Jessa's belly. They both had decided to keep the number and gender a secret until birth. The nursery had been decorated with a neutral theme. The clothes were neutral as well. Jessa couldn't wait for this child or children to be born.

It was seven months in to the pregnancy. Logan and Jessa were going to one of their prenatal appointments. As the doctor rubbed the gel on Jessa's belly, she asked him to turn the ultrasound screen away from her and Logan's view. The doctor complied, adding that he wouldn't disclose how many kids she was going to have, or what their gender would be. So far, the treatment was going well. Suddenly, the doctor took a quick intake of breath. "What's the matter?" Jessa asked, nervous and scared.

"Well, it could be nothing, but if you don't take it easy these last two months, something might be." the doctor replied, a strange gleam in his eyes.

"Well, is there anything wrong with my baby?" Logan demanded.

"I don't think so, but your wife should take it easy. Okay?" the doctor replied cooly.

"Thank you. We'll be going now." Logan said, helping his wife off the table. He was still mad that the doctor had scared them like that.

By the time they got to the car, it was snowing, and there were icy patches everywhere. Logan grabbed Jessa's hand so she wouldn't slip. When they were both safely in the car and buckled up, Logan put the car into gear and started to drive home. Suddenly, there was a flash of lights, a horn honking, and a huge jolt. Jessa was aware that Logan was unconscious. As her brain registered that fact, the airbags deployed, forcing Jessa into unconsciousness as well.

When Jessa woke up, she was in a hard metal bed, beneath glaring florescent lights. Where was she? There was a slight beeping noise to her left, and it scared her. When her pulse quickened, so did the beeping. She finally realized that she was in a hospital.

All she remembered from before was that the car had hit a patch of ice entering the intersection. Another car hit them, and Jessa was aware that their car was rolling over. It creaked to a stop, landing right side up. Logan had been unconscious, with a trail of blood leaking out of his mouth. Jessa was aware of a strange feeling in her belly before she passed out. When she woke, she was in the hospital.

A doctor walked in, interrupting her musing. His face looked grim. "What's wrong?" Jessa cried, picking up on his expression.

"We think the car accident could have caused irreversible damage, even death to the children." the doctor replied.

"Wait, children?" Jessa asked, having picked up on the plural.

"Yes, children. You are going to have twins." Jessa sank back into the pillow in shock. What was she going to do?

Just then, Logan walked in. "What's the matter?" he asked, catching a glimpse at Jessa's face.

"The babies may be dying." Jessa sobbed, reaching to find Logan's hand. Logan could only look on in shock. Finally Logan registered the fact that she had said children.

"There's more than one baby?" he asked Jessa, pulling her as close as the rails on the edge of the bed would allow.

"Yes. I'm going to have twins" Jessa replied. Logan hugged her even closer. They didn't even notice when the doctor left.

It was the next day, and the hospital was getting ready to discharge Jessa. Everything was going well, and Logan was gathering all of Jessa's things. Logan was telling her what had happened to him after the accident. "I was here when I woke up. Turns out the shock of the impact knocked me out. After I woke up, I was checked out and I came to see you."

Jessa felt something stir in her gut, but she thought it was just a sentimental reaction to knowing that she and her husband were safe. When the nurse walked in with a wheelchair, Jessa was ready to go. On the way out, Jessa felt a strong pull in her gut. It was uncomfortable, but Jessa didn't want anyone to worry about her. She got in the car in silence.

On the way home, Jessa got a call from Jenna. Her baby had died. Logan and Jessa rushed over to lend them some support in their difficult times. When they arrived, Jenna came out to meet them. "I'm so sorry for your loss." Jessa told Jenna.

"Bad things happen to everybody, just sometimes sooner than others. I hope you never have to lose a child." Jenna replied, looking depressed. Kendall and Carlos walked out the front door of the house, followed by a forlorn looking James. James went to Jenna, and they walked back to the house and went inside.

By now, Logan had returned to Jessa's side. Kendall and Carlos came over. "Someone's got a bun in the oven!" Carlos said.

"Stop!" Jessa yelled, then burst into tears. Everyone looked shocked at her outburst.

"Are you okay?" Kendall asked.

"We had an accident earlier." Logan told his friends.

"Oh my God! Are you all right?" Carlos asked, humor leaving his face.

"Well yeah, we're okay, but we might have some problems coming our way. The babies might have been harmed during the rollover."

"Wait! You say it like there's going to be more than one!" Carlos said, stooping down to feel Jessa's belly.

"There is. We learned today that Jessa is pregnant with twins."

After the story of their hospital stay, everyone gathered around to congratulate her. Jessa was starting to feel really sick, but she knew that everyone had enough on their minds, so she said nothing. Out of the blue, there was a huge pulling sensation inside her. It hurt, and she doubled over in pain. "What's wrong?" Logan asked her, his eyes wild with fear.

"I don't know!" she managed to gasp out. Logan picked her up and noticed that her pants were wet.

"Did you wet your pants?" Carlos asked.

"No! I don't know what's going on!" Jessa yelled. Kendall was the first to come up with a solution.

"I think your water just broke." he said.

"What do I do?" Logan asked, terrified.

"Take her to the hospital, you idiot!" Carlos replied.

The ride to the hospital was a short one, but to Jessa, it seemed like hours. The only noise in the car was her labored breathing. "God, it hurts." she whimpered up to Logan.

"I know sweetie. Just hang on!" Logan replied, giving the car some extra gas. He was now going 20 miles over the speed limit. Suddenly, red and blue lights started flashing behind them. A siren split the air. Logan was forced to pull over.

"Sir, can I ask you why you were speeding?" the officer asked Logan through the window.

"Please let me go. I need to take my wife to the hospital." Logan replied, desperate to get going again. Carlos piped up from the backseat:

"Let the man go. His wife is pregnant."

"That's no excuse for speeding. Unless the woman is is labor, I cannot allow speeding. As far as I can tell, this woman is not in labor. I'm going to have to write you a ticket for speeding." At this time, Jessa couldn't hold back her cries any longer, and she started sobbing in pain. The officer was taken aback and apologized. He even escorted them the rest of the way to the hospital.

Kendall had called the hospital ahead of time, so they were ready with a wheelchair when Jessa arrived. The nurse wheeled her into the delivery room, where she was placed in a long bed. Logan sat down beside the bed and stroked Jessa's hand. Carlos and Kendall were allowed to stay, up until it was time for Jessa to deliver her baby.

Finally, it was time. Kendall and Carlos were sent out of the room. A doctor came in, and soon Jessa was pushing with all her might, trying to get the babies out once and for all. The first baby came out. It was a baby boy. Something was wrong. He wasn't breathing. Jessa felt a streak of fear go through her body. Was her baby going to breathe? However, her concerns were soon transferred to a newer being, one that was breathing. It was a girl. The doctor was talking urgently to the nurses. The only words Jessa caught were "dead", "accident", and "ill effects". The next word cut through her like a knife. Stillborn. Her mind could take no more, and she fainted.

When Jessa awoke, Logan was still by her side. Tears were coursing down his usually bright face. "What happened?" Jessa asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"They both died." Logan sobbed. "He was a stillborn, and she died in intensive care. They were just too early. The car accident is probably what caused them to die." Logan could say no more, as he had become so choked up. Jessa just sobbed in his arms.

"Why did God have to take them? Life isn't even worth living." she cried out.

"Don't talk like that! Life is always worth living!" Logan reprimanded her. Saying this, they both fell asleep in each others arms.

The next day, Jessa decided not to go to work. She sent Logan to work and told him to go grocery shopping on the way home. Jessa kissed Logan warmly and told him to always remember that she loved him, no matter what happened. Logan thought this odd, but he didn't say anything. He kissed her goodbye and went to work.

As soon as Jessa saw him leave, she got the razors and the towels and went up to the bathroom. She climbed into the bathtub and sat down. Although taking her life was one of the stupidest things she could do, she had resolved to do it. She rolled up her sleeves and made the first cut. It was almost a relief, the first cut. It felt as if all of her troubles were draining out of her arm along with her blood. She made several more cuts on both arms, then sank back and embraced the darkness that was starting to cover her brain like a heavy fog.

Logan stamped on the brake. He had remembered what Jessa had said the night before about her life not being worth living. He turned around at the nearest exit and headed back home. When he got through the door, the house was dark and cold. He somehow knew that she would be in the bathtub. He found her unconscious, blood still leaking from her wrists. He rushed her to the hospital where he found out that James had had a bad car accident, and was in the room down the hall. Logan took a long look at Jessa before going to visit his friends.

When Logan came back, someone had wrapped Jessa's wrists with white gauze. She stirred as she heard the door close. "Logan, is that you?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah, it's me. Why the hell did you try to commit suicide?" Logan demanded.

"I was upset and in pain. I'm sorry. It was a really selfish thing to do. I won't ever do it again, no matter how much pain I'm in." she replied, crying.

"Okay."

A couple of days later, Jessa was released and they went home together. On the way home, Logan decided to breach the subject of having children again. "Do you ever want to try for children again?" Logan asked tentatively.

"No! I don't want to open myself up to that kind of pain." Jessa replied quickly. Logan let it drop.

They were both showered and ready for bed. Logan was turned on his side, back facing Jessa. She tapped him. "I don't mind if we have sex, as long as you wear a condom." All of the precautions were taken and they had a wonderful, romantic night together.

Many months passed, and eventually they both got back to their normal lives. The precautions were still in place, due to the fact that Jessa was not ready for another child. One day, Jessa had had a stressful day at work, so she decided to take a long hot shower. She stepped into the shower and leaned her head back so that the hot water pounded her forehead. It helped to ease her headache, and she started to imagine what might happen later that night. She felt the hands running over every inch of her body. She started to lean into the hands, when she realized that hands were touching her! "Shh. It's just me." Logan whispered. She relaxed and Logan led her into the most intense and passionate lovemaking they had ever had. Afterwards, Logan dried them both off and they went to bed.

Several weeks passed, and Jessa noticed that, once again, the monthly activity of her body had ceased to happen. She hoped that it was just late, and that she was not pregnant. She did not want to go through all of that pain again. She refused to tell Logan her suspicions, as if telling him would make it come true. Two weeks passed, and still there was no change in her body. She finally had to admit that she was pregnant.

"Hey Logan? I have something to tell you." Jessa said, walking into the living room where Logan was watching hockey.

"Yeah babe?" Logan answered, turning off the tv.

"Welllll...Ummm..."

"Spit it out!" Logan replied, laughing.

"I'm pregnant." Logan stood there in a stunned silence.

"But how? We always used a condom. Oh, wait. I remember. It was in the shower. Are you ready for another child?"

"I'm not sure, but I guess I have to be. I won't give this baby up." Jessa replied, a little shaky.

"When should we tell your friends?" Jessa wondered.

"When you start to show, we can tell them, ok?"

"Ok" said Jessa and they snuggled close.

Jessa and Logan were lying in bed together, discussing how to tell their friends. "How about I wait until everyone is assembled together, then whisper to you that I have to go to the bathroom. When I go, if anyone asks, tell them where I went. I'll take the test, then come back upset. You ask me what's wrong, and I'll shake my head. If I'm right about your friends, one of them is going to be curious, and they will go check the bathroom to see what upset me. They'll discover that the pregnancy test is positive, then they'll confront you. Bravo. End of story." Jessa said. This plan matched Jessa and Logan's theatrical tendencies, so this was the plan they adopted.

It was a 4th of July party at Kendall's house when the plan went into effect. Jessa had to wait awhile before everyone was assembled, but finally, everyone was there. She whispered her message into Logan's ear, then went to the bathroom to take her test. Meanwhile, back with the rest of the people, there was a lot of people wanting to know where Jessa went. Considering her recent suicide attempt, they were worried that she was going to try to do it again. Logan then announced that Jessa was just going to the bathroom. Sure enough, Jessa came back soon after. She looked upset. "What's wrong?" Logan asked. Jessa shook her head. Sure enough, not five minutes later, Kendall jumped up and said he had to go to the bathroom. Logan followed him and heard the rustle of the trash basket, as well as a sharp intake of breath.

"Holy crap! I wonder if Logan knows!" Kendall said in a shocked voice. At this time, Logan crept back.

When Kendall finished his "toilet", he came back and called Jessa aside. "Jessa, I found this in the trash." he said, brandishing the piece of plastic in her face. "Does your husband know?"

"I didn't want to tell him until I was starting to show, and I was certain that I was pregnant." Jessa said, obviously scared.

"Are you showing?" Kendall asked Jessa.

"Yeah. Can't you tell?" On closer examination, he could see the defined bump that was sticking out between her hips.

"I'm sorry I confronted you so fiercely, but I have to look out for my friends." Kendall told her.

"No hard feelings." replied Jessa over her shoulder, already on her way back to the group. Kendall followed her with a sigh.

"Everyone, we have an announcement to make." Logan said standing up. "My wife and I are going to be proud parents in about 4 months!" James and Carlos looked shocked. Kendall looked sheepish for falling for the trick. James came over and congratulated Jessa quite warmly.

"I know how you feel." he whispered. "My wife is pregnant as well." Jessa gave him a hug and thanked him for being so understanding. James walked away, and Jessa was once again surrounded by admirers and well wishers. The rest of the

day passed quickly, and soon it was time to go home.

The remaining months of Jessa's pregnancy went well. Soon it was time to deliver her baby. Logan drove her to the hospital, then walked with her as she was wheeled to the delivery room. When the doctor arrived, Jessa was well into labor and ready to give birth. By pushing when the doctor demanded, the baby girl was soon brought into the world. Her name was Emily. She immediately captured the hearts of everyone around her. When the happy family brought her home, they knew that their lives were complete.

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><p><strong>Review :) <strong>


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